Beverage Heaven or FFJ Returns to J-ville, Stops by Wawa, Not so hilarity ensues

Yesterday, I left the Old Dominion to return to the J-ville. Tavery redeemed himself by driving me out to Washington National (DCA for you airport nerds) for my flight. I realized about ten minutes before we left that I didn’t know how to get to the airport or where it was exactly so I google mapped it. The directions google gave us took us down some awful backroads. I think it’s the same route the Greyhound bus always took from DC to Charlottesville but I was having none of it. Tht directions google gave me were flawed because it failed to take into consideration one important fact about the route to DC going up US-29: there’s a Wawa 75 miles north of C-ville on 29!!!!! I wasn’t going to pass up an opportunity for a Wawa hoagie and a half gallon of the Wawa Diet Lemonade Iced tea so Joe and I drove up 29.

The Wawa in question: US 29 in Gainesville, VA. Driving Directions from the law school.

When we got there I came up with a brilliant idea and so grabbed not one but two half-gallons of my favorite Wawa tea in addition to my sandwich. My plan seemed great at the time. Drink one half-gallon on the road to the airport, eat the sandwich in the airport, save the second half-gallon when I got home. Back in Florida, I planned a rare but extremely prestigious drink: Wawa Diet Lemonade Iced Tea and Sweet Tea blended together!! It would be a drink of epic proportions though I worried it might be too amazing for any cup to contain. Scotch/Mint Juleps/Some other allegedly prestigious beverage: drink your heart out.

Anyway, we get to the airport just as I’m finishing up the first half-gallon. I’m a little worried about how the airplane ride is going to go with all that tea sloshing around my stomach. Before he drops me off, I ask Tavery if I can bring my sandwich past security and he replies that he thinks I can. Good deal! After checking my bags, though, I had a sudden, heart-breaking realization: there’s no way they’re gonna let me bring my second half-gallon jug of tea past the security checkpoint and onto the plane!

Needless to say, I was heartbroken. My plans for a prestigious dinner drink were foiled. I figured I’d just make sure I couldn’t bring the tea along and asked one of the security ladies at the checkpoint. She replied no and I told her I’d be back saying, “I’m gonna go chug this real quick.” And as a man of my word, that’s what I set out to do. I grabbed a seat on the main concourse near the large window and watched sailboats and jet skis go up and down the Potomac while reliving my undergrad days by eating a Wawa hoagie and drinking a half-gallon of the Diet Lemonade Iced Tea for lunch. (By the way, Washington National is a really pretty airport and the view of D.C. on takeoff is really cool. If you ever get a chance to fly in/out of there, take it.) By the time I had finished the first half of my jug of tea, I was already starting to feel the effects of having three quarts of tea in my body. I persisted on, though, and forced the last few sips down. I had just finished an entire gallon of Wawa Diet Lemonade Iced Tea in less than two hours…and less than an hour before I was set to take off on a two hour flight.  As I went through security the guard from earlier recognized me and smiled as I said, “I just finished that whole thing for you.”

No better view for chugging a gallon of tea than the view of the Potomac at DCA.

I don’t think I need to get into details describing the flight from my perspective. After the outstanding view during takeoff, I could only concentrate on one thing. When the seatbelt sign turned off and then again when the plane landed, I bolted from my seat. Would I do it again, though? Absolutely. You never know if today’s half-gallon of the Wawa Diet Lemonade Iced Tea will be your last so you have to savor each half-gallon to the last drop.

By the way, it was 60 something and raining in Charlottesville yesterday. Weather in Jacksonville upon arrival? 90 degrees and sunny. The sweet tea at diner last night? Very sweet, with crushed ice to top it all off.  Not bad, even if I didn’t get to blend it with some Wawa tea.  Oh to be back in J-ville!