Priscilla in April on the last day we spent together. She was almost 13 years old and crippled by arthritis but was as happy and sweet as ever.

Priscilla showed up in my life about 12 years ago. I was convinced I saw a fox running around our neighborhood.  The “fox” appeared on our street more than once and a couple of days apart.  I was a bit worried it might manage to get into the backyard where our two year old 70 pound mutt Tweedles was hanging out.

Then a few days after her first sighting, we saw her again during a thunderstorm and realized it wasn’t a fox at all but rather a little red chow mix with some pointy ears.  My brother brought her home to get her out of the storm and after a bit of coaxing, my mom let her stay until we found her owner.  A couple dozen “FOUND DOG” posters later, we gave up on finding her owner and Priscilla became part of the family.

For a stray/runaway, Priscilla was amazingly well behaved, especially compared to the strong-willed Tweedles.  Someone had taken care of her before we found her because she was already trained to sit, lay down, shake and stay.

Priscilla and Tweedles hit it off from the start and the two would roam our backyard together for the better part of a decade.  Squirrels, possums, raccoons, snakes, cats and rats were no match for the two.  Priscilla was a natural hunter; when she saw a squirrel or cat her ears and tail pricked up and her body froze.  She’d slowly creep up on her prey before launching into a sprint.  Sometimes, she’d catch it and she and Tweedles would corner whatever it was and they’d work together to subdue it.  If the animal got away or up a tree, Priscilla would bawl until she lost sight of whatever she was chasing.

Since Tweedles was always worried he was missing out on something, we had to let Priscilla inside each night to eat.  She and my mom — who was happy to have another female in a house with four males — bonded and Priscilla would often be allowed to sit with us during dinner.  Almost nightly, my mom would scold Priscilla for begging while we were eating — which she managed to accomplish with nothing more than a sad stare — but she’d always breakdown and give Priscilla a few bites.

As much as she enjoyed life in the backyard with Tweedles, Priscilla never totally lost her wild streak and whenever a door or gate was left open, she would bolt out the door and sprint down the street headed straight for the marshes near our house.  When she took off, it was a footrace between her and me to see who could get to the end of the street first.  If I won, I could cut her off and get her home.  If she won, which she did on multiple occasions, she was gone to the marshes until she came home an hour or two later with paws covered in mud.  My mom would sit on the stoop by our front door waiting for her.  When Priscilla would return my mother would scold her while feeding her treats at the same time, relieved that she came back.

If she couldn’t takeoff and head for the marshes, Priscilla would settle for just going on a walk.  In general, she was one of the calmest, even-keeled dogs you’ll ever see.  Grab her leash, though, and her eyes would light up and she’d go crazy: crying in excitement, hopping in place, running in circles, running to the gate then running back to make sure I was still coming.  She would get so excited she couldn’t sit still long enough to get the leash clipped on.  The second the gate was cracked open, she’d squeeze her body into the opening, pushing the gate wide open and start sprinting down the driveway, not slowing down until she’d made it halfway down the street.  When it was Tweedles’ turn to go for a walk, Priscilla would cry and cry and run back and forth to opposite sides of the yard to watch for Tweeldes to return.

After managing to get them both out of the truck without getting away and not getting tangled between their leashes, they could've given me a good pose together at least once!

While Tweedles was big and loud and clumsy and a wild troublemaker (aka the perfect guy dog), Priscilla was basically his opposite: mild-mannered, quiet and well-behaved.  When Tweedles started to act up, Priscilla would let him know.  If he decided to bark or jump on the back door to get our attention, she’d jump on him, nipping at his ears and back legs.  It didn’t usually faze Tweedles, but Priscilla did her best to keep him in line. For the most part, though, she never challenged Tweedles’ alpha dog role in the backyard realizing my mom spoiled her precisely because of how different she behaved in comparison with Tweeds.  If Tweedles tried to steal her bone, she’d growl but ultimately let him grab it without a fight.  If Tweedles butted in while someone was paying attention to Priscilla, she wouldn’t vie for our attention but was content to wait.  And that’s the way things went in our backyard my whole teenage life — Tweedles and Priscilla kept the varmints away, Priscilla tried to keep Tweedles out of trouble and Tweedles had a mind of his own.

During my junior year of college, Tweedles passed away a couple of months before his 11th birthday.  It was one of the most devastating days of my fairly charmed life.  I can’t imagine, though, the hole in left in Priscilla’s life.  With Tweedles’ passing, our backyard became a lot lonelier place for Priscilla. My mom had already left the house the year before and I had taken off for college a year or two before that.

The first time I came home after Tweedles died, Priscilla was there and stood with me as I wept over the loss of my dog.  I don’t doubt that she knew exactly how I was feeling and felt exactly the same.  Tweedles was her best friend and for almost her entire life the two hadn’t spent more than a few hours apart.

But Priscilla got a new friend around the same time that Tweedles left and I like to think that it helped fill the hole that Tweedles’ death left in her life.  My dad’s newborn daughter, Lily, would for Priscilla’s last three years give the little dog a new purpose in life and a playmate.

Priscilla was great with my little sister. Lily would hand feed Priscilla when her hips got too bad to walk.

Priscilla was amazing with Lily from the start. As soon as Lily was able to move around, she took an interest in Priscilla who sat still and tolerated Lily’s typical baby antics: pulling fur, tails ears, even some playful slaps.  Priscilla took it all in stride never getting angry with the baby.  When she had taken all the abuse she was willing to endure, she’d slowly get up and walk away.  As Lily got a bit older and started to play in the backyard, Priscilla’s maternal instincts kicked in.  As Lily ran around the backyard, Priscilla would keep an eye on her and follow her around the yard.  If Lily wanted to swing or play on the swingset, Priscilla would camp out in the shade underneath the slide to make sure Lily didn’t hurt herself.  When Lily moved to the other side of the yard, Priscilla would trail her, always keeping an eye on her.

I tried to make sure Lily took a liking to Priscilla so she would give her some attention and loving when I wasn’t around. I used whatever influence I had over my little sister by spoiling Priscilla whenever I came home and encouraging Lily to do the same.  I think it worked and even after my dad brought home a puppy as a Christmas present for her, Lily would play with Priscilla (at least when I was around) even as the new puppy barked for attention.  I might have subverted my dad’s purpose in getting Lily the puppy while Priscilla was still around but I felt better knowing Lily would give Priscilla some of the attention she deserved when I was away.

She never got tired of pig ears.

After Tweedles left, Priscilla seemed to suddenly age quickly.  I really think part of it was that she missed her friend; her life was a lot less fun and a lot lonelier without him. While Priscilla always cried at the gate when we came home, her cries seemed more desperate, more sorrowful after Tweedles died.  But as Lily got old enough to start giving Priscilla some attention, Priscilla started to perk up.

I really think Lily made a difference in Priscilla’s life and gave her a little extra motivation to keep up the fight. Last May, when I came home from school, my brother told me Priscilla wasn’t well.  She had lost a lot of weight and her red blood cell count was low.  But with a steady diet of beef liver and a lot of attention both from me and Lily who was two and becoming more and more attached to “Lila,” Priscilla got better and by the end of the summer, she looked as healthy as ever and seemed to be a lot happier dog than right after Tweedles’ death.

While she looked healthy, her age was still apparent.  Our walks around the neighborhood, over time, turned into walks halfway around the neighborhood, then to the end of the street, then halfway down the street, as arthritis began to attack her joints.  By the time I came home for winter break this past year, her hips had deteriorated to the point that Priscilla could only walk with a limp.  The doctor told us her arthritis would only get worse despite the supplements and painkillers.  When I came home for spring break, she could barely move.  But she still limped across the yard to keep an eye on Lily and me.

Two weeks ago, I was back home for my dad’s birthday.  While my dad had warned me, I wasn’t prepared for how badly Priscilla’s joints had deteriorated.  She could barely move, her back legs completely unable to support her weight.  She shook while laying down and could only walk with a towel wrapped under her belly supporting her weight.  Despite the awful trial she had to endure, she was still as sweet as ever.  Lauren and I were playing with her in the backyard when I went to the other side of the yard to grab her brush.  Undeterred, Priscilla stood up on her two good front legs and tried to drag herself across the yard to keep track of me.  While she could no longer run around, she seemed to take pleasure watching the new puppy chasing sticks — her eyes kept track of each stick as Lauren or I threw it across the yard.

When I told Lily we were taking Priscilla to see my mom, Lily got worried that Priscilla wasn’t coming back. I told her she’d be back tonight but I don’t think she really believed me.  Lily knew Priscilla was struggling and she seemed genuinely worried that we might be taking her away for good.  When Lily next saw me, at my dad’s birthday party, she asked if Priscilla was back home and I assured her we had brought her back.

Maybe smiling, maybe just exasperated.

When I picked Priscilla up to take her to the front yard, to Lauren’s car, so we could take her to see my mom, she seemed to grin as I carried her, happy to be moving, happy to have her weight off her joints.  As soon as I put her down, the young stray in her came out and she tried to stand up to take off down the street like she had done so often in the past.  It was heartbreaking watching her body fail her ever-young spirit. The car was a fair consolation prize for her, though, and her attention quickly shifted from the street to the backseat when I opened the door.  She found a comfortable spot to lie down and as we drove towards my mom’s place, Priscilla lifted her nose to enjoy the breeze coming through the window.

She wasn't content just seeing the lake. As soon as I wrapped the towel under Priscilla to help her walk, she headed straight to it, coming within a few steps before mom intercepted her.

When we got to my mom’s place, Priscilla began to cry, seeing the lake in her backyard.  I carried her to the back and wrapped the towel under her to help her walk around.  As soon as I did, she made a beeline towards the lake no doubt hoping to get her paws muddy one last time.

The next day was my last in Jacksonville before heading back to school until the end of the semester.  Lauren and I went back to my dad’s place to see her one last time before I left.  She was sitting by the gate in a nice clump of grass under the shade of a big oak tree.  Lauren and I fed her some of the pig ears we’d grabbed for her and Priscilla’s jaws cracked through them with as much ease as over.  Lily joined us and the three of us sat there with Priscilla, brushing her, feeding her, spoiling her.  She looked as happy and content as I had ever seen her and I told her goodbye feeling confident that she’d be okay, that I’d see her again.

My dad sent me an e-mail early Monday asking me to call him, that he wanted to talk to me about Priscilla.  I put it off, not wanting to hear what he had to say, and didn’t call until this morning.  He told me what I feared.  Her arthritis had gotten worse and she had now lost the strength in her front legs. We had run out of options.  He said the vet would probably come to the house today and that it would be painless for her.  I spent the rest of the day trying to fight back the tears, trying to find another answer and dreading the call that I knew was coming.

She was always up for a car ride.

Around 9 tonight, I got the call from my brother. I didn’t pick up and his message told me to call him back.

I’m too scared to call Phillip back right now.  I don’t want to hear him say what I already know deep down is true.  It’s as if as long as I don’t return the call, there’s still a chance, no matter how small, that the vet didn’t have time today or she somehow found the strength in her bones to get up and walk again and that everything’s going to be okay.

Priscilla, I hope you’re somewhere better now. I hope you and Tweedles are back together again and that your hips don’t hurt anymore and that you’re both in a big backyard with no fences and lots of slow squirrels and a big sloppy marsh.  I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you today and the past five years and I’m sorry I couldn’t do more to help you.  I promise you I tried.  You were an amazing dog.  I can’t imagine a dog being sweeter than you were to my family for the past 12 years and my family won’t be the same without you as a part of it.  This weekend, the backyard’s going to feel alien to me without you or Tweedles standing by the gate waiting for me with tails waging.  I can’t express how grateful I am that you happened into our lives all those years ago and that you decided to stay with us.  You were a great soulmate to Tweedles, a kindred soul for my mom at a time when she really needed it, a patient friend to Lily and you were there to console me and share my pain after Tweedles left.  I know I’m not the only one crying tonight.  You’re going to be deeply missed.  Thanks for being my friend.  I love you.

Apparently not everyone’s in love with streaming video of puppies.  Here’s an excerpt of my convo with a friend who is less than enfactuated with the newest internet fad:

R: do you have that creepy fucking puppy feedon your blogi HATE that thingme: yesit’s amazing

R: oh my god

it is so not amazing

and so much more just incredibly creepy

i cant stand it

me: Oh really?

6:18 PM R: ugghhh

yes

voyeurism as it relates to puppies

also

the puppies are pooping!

on camera

give them their privacy

im starting a coalition

R: the PPP

Protect Puppy Privacy!

me: How do you know they want privacy though?

6:19 PM R: all puppies want privacy

i mean

get a life

get a real puppy

get a friend

6:20 PM get off your computer and go outside but likepuppies dont have plotseven reality shows have plotsin the same way that porns have plotsbut puppies just frolicthere is nothing to think about you may as well watch your screen saver

The stars of the best show on the internet

I’m probably a bit behind the curve, but the live streaming puppies are the best thing on the internet right now.  Probably better than most of what’s on TV too.  And if you refuse to acknowledge its immense cuteness, then you’ve got some issues w/ masculinity or something.

Basically, a couple in San Fran got 6 pups recently.  They work all day so to keep track of their pups during the day, they set up a webcam overlooking the pups’ playpen.  And then somehow a bunch of people found it.  As I’m writing this, there are 20 some odd thousand people watching.

Here’s the link: http://cdn1.ustream.tv/swf/4/viewer.45.swf?cid=317016.  If you have any blood pumping through that heart, you’ll follow along at home.

The only fight I saw from the Jags all day resulted in the ejection (and probable suspension) of John Henderson. The Jags scored 16 of their 19 points after the play. (Source: jacksonville.com)

I don’t care to talk about the game today aside from pointing out that the only positive things I saw were Josh Scobee nailing kicks and making tackles with a broken hand and John Henderson showing the only emotion I saw all game by tussling with that fat D-Bag Bengal offensive guard who needs to learn how to better pick his fights.  (Seriously, look at the Jags 53 man roster.  Now, imagine I tell you that you have to fight a player on the team of my choosing but that you get to choose one player to be excepted from my pick.  Sorta like how in the expansion drafts, teams could protect a certain number of players from being selected.  Also, imagine I don’t like you very much so I’m probably going to pick the guy most likely to literally do to you what the Florida Gators did metaphorically to the Georgia Bulldogs yesterday afternoon back home in Jville.  Surely you’re gonna pick Henderson as the one guy you don’t wanna fight, right?  Although, if you picked Scobee with the club he’s currently sporting on his right arm, I’d allow it.)  By the way, a few people on the Jags’ post-game radio broadcast speculated that Henderson was trying to poke the Bengal A-Hole (not coincedentally, that rhymes) in the eyes.  Maybe.  But, I’m gonna gon out on a limb here and say a hardened vet like John’s not going to throw and obvious and blatant cheap shot on another player like that unless he’s been the victim of a similar act.  Which is my way of saying, Whitworth, you had it coming you fat punk.

So, instead of talking about today’s disaster, I’m gonna keep things positive and look to the future and what the Jags need to do to return to the form they showed while winning 12 games and advancing into the second round of the playoffs last year.

Get healthy on the offensive line:

It's tough to run the offense when Dave has guys in his face every play.

The game is won or lost in the trenches.  It’s cliche, but it’s true.  The Jags used to be a ball control team that lived or died by the run.  Thanks to David Garrard’s development, the Jags are no longer dependent on the run and can win game through the air when necessary.    Unfortunately, though, the run game disappeared with three season ending injuries to starting offensive guards and an additional injury that kept center Brad Meester out for the first 6 games this year.  The pass protection hasn’t been much better and the combined result has been a precipitous drop in the performance of the offense from last year to now.

The Jags have to get better play from their interior offensive linemen than they’re getting now.  Whether that means just getting the guys they have healthy or finding new guys through the draft or free agency, I don’t know.  Getting Vince Manuwai and Mo WIlliams back will go a long way in to restoring the Jags O-Line to the proud unit it once was the past two seasons, but Rich Collier‘s career is over thanks to a random act of violence and Khalif Barnes still hasn’t proven he’s an elite offensive tackle.  The Jags need to improve their depth across the line and continue looking for an elite left tackle in the draft.

Figure out the future of the defensive line:

Opposing QBs have had a lot of this (read: time, lack of pressure) to look forward to when stepping back to pass against the Jags this season.

This has been a long time coming.  Defensive tackle John Henderson is in his tenth season and without Marcus Stroud, this year, his play has started to drop.  Same goes for Paul Spicer on the end.  The Reggie Hayward signing never reaped the benefits the Jags were hoping after he suffered that Achilles injury a couple years ago.  The line is not able to consistently put pressure on the quarterback and this season they’ve struggled to stop their opponent’s run attack, an aspect of the game the Jags D once prided itself on.  The Jags need to rebuild their defensive line and it’s no secret.  They began the process in the offeseason by drafting a pair of sack-seeking defensive ends.  It’s a good start, but with this season falling apart, quickly, it’s time to give the rookies more playing time while phasing out the old guard ends Hayward and Spicer.

New year, same old WR woes:

Note to Jags receivers: Despite what Howlett says, it is possible to catch passes with a defender in your face.

How different does the Jags' season look right now if Matt makes the catch?

This season has finally seen the rise of Matt Jones in to a consistent threat at wide out.  Unfortunately, he’s been the only consistent member of the WR corps.  Reggie Williams, after catching 11 TD’s last year, has only one through 8 games this season.  Dennis Northcutt has been an after-thought and still drops too many balls, a no-no for a possession receiver.  Jerry Porter should be paying the Jags for his lackluster performance in the first half of this season.  In fact, drops in the end zone in the last couple of minutes the past two weeks have cost the Jags a pair of wins that would have the Jags fortunes pointing in a very different direction (although Jones’ drop on the penultimate play against CLE last week made all the highlight reels, David delivered a pass to Porter’s outstretched arms in the back of the end zone in the play directly preceding Jones’ drop.  Porter didn’t hold on although he was well defended (in fact, too well if you ask me) on the play.  Troy Williamson hasn’t had a single play of note, although he did catch a beautiful deep strike from David on a post route in the Pittsburgh game that was nullified by penalty.  Mike Walker had some good plays in preseason and in the first few weeks but has since disappeared with a knee infection.
Basically, aside from Matt Jones, the Jags don’t have any wide receivers that have shown they’re capable of making big plays consistently this season.  The Jags have tried drafting receivers with little success.  The Jags tried signing receivers last year with even less success.  And if the status quo doesn’t change over the final eight weeks of the regular season, the team will have to continue its quest for a productive receiving core against in this offseason.

Find a defensive coordinator whose philosophy matches the personality of a Jack Del Rio coached team:

Sorry Greg, if I have my way, you're getting the hook at season's end.

The Jags were spoiled over the past five season by former defensive coordinator Mike Smith.  When the Falcons inked him as their defensive coordinator, the Jags lost a coach who was eerily good at utilizing various schemes and personnel to match up against opposing offenses.  A lot of the glaring holes in the Jags defense this year are flaws that existed last year but which Smith was able to patch up, at least temporarily, by guessing well at what the opposing offense was going to throw at his team.  He’s gone this year and his replacement, former Bills head coach Gregg Williams has not had the same success as his predecessor.  Williams favors an attack-style blitzing defense that does not fit the Jags personnel nor Jack Del Rio’s own defensive philosophy well.  Jack favors a fairly conservative cover-two defense: stop the run with the front seven, allow the corners and safeties to focus on the passing game, and get pressure from the front four, particularly the defensive ends, to take pressure off the secondary.
Williams has tried to implement aspects of his philosophy with little success.  The Jaguars have 11 sacks through 8 games this season: an average of less than two per game.  The blitzing schemes have failed to put pressure on opposing quarterbacks and as a result, teams have been able to put up huge passing numbers against the team.  The Jags once vaunted rushing defense has also fallen by the way.  The Jags defense used to be proud to the point of cockiness, the past few seasons.  This year’s team has no swagger, and rightfully so. The Jags need to get back to playing tough, physical, yet fairly conservative defense and so, Williams has to go.  He’s a good coordinator but his style of defense does not work under Jack Del Rio nor with the personnel on this team.

Spent the twilight of his life depressed and broke: Oh, the cost of greatness!

So, I’m sitting at Chipotle snacking away at a burrito bowl when I have a profound thought.  All three of the presidential memorials in D.C. are in honor of presidents whose last name ended with an “on” sound.  Random, yea, I hear ya.  Anyway, I figured I’d go through the list and see if there were any other presidents whose last names ended with that sound and, well, not only were there a bunch, but arguably they were some of the greatest/more influential of the bunch.  So, here’s the list of presidents whose last names fit the bill and were relatively influential (and the exceptions to the rule).  Judge for yourself:

Left: Last name ends with "on." Right: Last name does not.

Great Presidents Whose Names End in “on” (or sounds like it):

George Washington
Thomas Jefferson
James Madison
Andrew Jackson
Abraham Lincoln
Woodrow Wilson
Harry Truman
Lyndon B. Johnson (right)
Bill Clinton

The Not So Great:

Andrew Johnson: Impeached, not convicted.

William Henry Harrison
James Buchanan
Andrew Johnson
Benjamin Harrison
Richard Nixon

So what do you think?  Weird coincidence or does the name make man?

The scene of the crime: Don't let the deliciousness fool you; inside lies a cold blooded killer.

You know those annoying facebook groups that are like “zomg i got sooooo wasted thurs night and when i woke up i didn’t know where i was, who that guy next to me in bed was, or where my cell phone was! lulz!! so, send me ur numbers!! xoxo” or some variation of the theme? Well, that’s what this post is.  Except instead of a sordid tale involving sex, drugs, alcohol, or some combination of the three, mine involves cereal, soy milk, and an 8:50 class w/ Dooley.

The perpetrator was apprehended and summarily drained down the kitchen sink.

8:30 AM Tuesday: The day began like any other.  My cell phone alarm sounded jolting me from my pleasant slumber.  Little did I know, it would be the last sound my cell phone would make.  I went about my normal pre-class routine: pondered skipping class, guilt-tripped myself into not falling back to sleep for another hour, stumbled into the kitchen to grab a bowl of cereal, stumbled back into bed, turned on the lappy to check out the news and started shoveling down some breakfast.

8:45 AM: After climbing out of bed for a second time, I threw on a t-shirt and some sweat pants (Readers: “Swoon!”) and prepared to make the trek over to school in time for class.  As I got ready to head out the door, I saw my cellphone on the bed-side table and reached for it…

AND THEN DISASTER STRUCK…

Let me set the scene for you.  Cell phone’s on the bedside table.  Bowl of half finished cereal is beside it, still filled about a quarter of the way with milk.

The accessory to the crime was sentenced to death by lethal garbage disposal.

So, I reach for the cell phone and everything seems fine until… the cell phone charger, which unbeknown to me is plugged into the phone, pulls taut causing the phone to slip out of my hand and fall right smack to the bottom of the soy milky cereal bowl.  Miz, eh?  Just to add insult to injury, the battery came out when the phone fell.  So, I reach in to the bowl, grab the various parts, lay ‘em out on some paper towels, and sprint off so I can get to class on time. After class, I put the phone back together, tried to turn it on, no dice.

So.  I’m out a phone.  And what a phone it was.  After a series of POS phones that barelyt lasted a year, this last phone gave me two full years of service.  It saw me through my senior year of college, graduation and a first year of law school.  It accompanied me to Jags games and sent out quite a few EVERYBODY DANCE NOW!!! text messages after MJD and Freddy T touchdowns.  It was a call on that phone where I found out I got into lawschool (NOTE: what seems like a blessing, could be a curse) and I got a kick ass firm job for last summer.  For the record, the phone’s last call was a quick chat with the madre re: politics, Ander Crenshaw (kick the bum out!), teh Jags, Matt Jones, jobs, and the fam.  So, you wonderfully sturdy $40 phone, I bid thee adieu.

Oh, and send me your numbers.

xoxo

I do... want to bill 2400 hours a year for you!

The parallels between the 2L interviewing process and dating are so obvious and many that it’s probably not worth pointing out.  But since the majority of this audience is either not in law school and thus has no idea what the process is like or a typical law student and thus has no idea what dating is like, I’ll make the comparisons for y’all.

1. Picking Your Potential Mates/Firms:
I guess to be more specific, interviewing is like online dating.  To pick the firms you’re going to interview with/date, you have to go online and pick them out of a list of seemingly identical firms.  Unfortunately, UVa doesn’t provide some search method to help you match interests.

(In the ideal world, CASE would go like this: Where do you want your firm/date to live? What specialties/interests do you want your firm/date to provide/have?  What is your ideal firm’s/date’s size/size? And then it’d give you a list of your matches.)

Anyway, after you pick who you want to interview/date with, you wait to hear back from your firm/date to find out if they want to interview/date you.  If they don’t want to date/interview you, you’ll never talk to them again and avoid eye contact if you ever bump into each other/googlebomb the firm’s good name on internet message boards.

But, if your firm/date wants to meet you, then teh awkward first date/OGI is on!

2. The First Date/OGI

Firm #1: If you were a Supreme Court Justice which justice would you be?

So, OGI is like a first date (except your date/firm is seeing 29 other dates/annoying law students that day too).  You guys set up a time at a fairly neutral place.  You make sure you get there a little early.  The first few moments when you meet are a little awkward but after an exchange of pleasantries, the date/interview is on.  The interviewee and student talk about each other: their interests, specialties, law school experience, etc.  Basically, you try to just keep talking the whole time to make sure things don’t get awkward.  If your firm/date doesn’t care for you, it’ll become apparent quickly as they shift the topic away from you and talk solely about themselves.  At the end of the date/interview, if things seemed to go well, you say your goodbyes and hope they call you back in a couple of days.

3. Waiting for the Callback
So, I guess to make this scenario work, we have to imagine that the law student always plays the role of the female and the firm the male because the student can’t call the firm back, but rather, must wait for the firm to call her back to express its interest in another date (we could also keep this metaphor going and mention how when things work out well, the firm’s screwing the law student over during her time as an associate, but we won’t).  Often, a firm with whom your first date went grandly won’t call you back, leaving you feeling a bit empty and sad inside.  But don’t get too down on yourself, no matter how well things seemed to go, there’ll always be a few dates/firms that inexplicably got away.

But, if your date/firm liked you and called back, then you get to have a second date…AT THEIR PLACE!!

4. The Second Date
Now, let me preface this by saying the interviewing process doesn’t exactly follow the dating process.  It’s been my experience that the girl comes back to your place after the first date and always calls you back.  I’m sure that’s been all of your experiences too, so just play along and act as if you don’t always take the girl home at the end of the first date (I’m sure that’s really difficult for you law nerds).

Anyway, second date/interview is a big deal.  If things go well, you can probably turn this into a longer-term deal.  So you get to know a little more about each other.  Maybe the firm/date sees some of your flaws which they didn’t notice during that short first date.  Often, the second date/interview will include a dinner/dinner where the date/firm can judge you on your eating habits/eating habits.  Keeping with our girl = law students (and let’s be honest, even the dudes are pretty feminine at LS, author excepted) and boy = firm metaphor, the firm/guy pays for the meal.

But, if all goes well and you chew your food w/ your mouth closed, you’ll probably hear back from the firm/date who’ll ask for a longer-term relationship with ya!

5. Receiving the Offer/Facebook Relationship Status Change Request

Looks Like Somebody got an Offer!

So, after the second date, you have a pretty good idea how things went and whether your date/firm is going to ever want to talk to you again.  If they like ya, they’ll offer you a job/request to list themselves as in a relationship with you on facebook.  If they don’t like you, they’ll awkwardly send you a letter in a couple of weeks/never call you again (or so I hear, since no woman has ever desired to reject me).

As has been my experience in dating, often you’ll have multiple firms/girls pining over you.  It can be tough choosing between a handful of women/firms.  Each one seems to have some great characteristics that you really like.  Often, though, there are some trade offs you have to choose between (read: great ass v. seductive blue eyes/ great QoL v. great $$$, if only one could find both characteristics in one girl/firm!).  Sometimes, as has been my experience in dating, girls/firms will let you hook up with/work for another girl/firm to help you make a decision about which one you like better.  When you have this option, you should always take it!

6. The Early Relationship Bliss Period/Being a Summer Associate

True Life: I'm a Summer Associate for a v100 Firm

So, when your relationship first begins, everything’s still new and exciting.  You’re getting to know eachother, still trying to impress eachother (or as has been my case in dating, she’s still trying really hard to impress me while I w/o any effort am naturally charming and impressive…swoon!) and you probably really like eachother.  Likewise, when you first go to work for a firm as a summer associate, everything’s new and exciting, the firm wines and dines you for 13 weeks, and you probably still like working.  If the relationship/summer goes well, (again the firm plays the guy role), the firm/guy might ask the law student/date to work full-time/marry the firm/guy.  Oh, and like half of marriages in the U.S., in a few years the shine wears off the realtionship/job and one party or the other fires/leaves/divorces the other.  Swoon!

NFL Week 7:

Cleveland @ Washington (-7.5)
Spread: CLE
Actual: WAS

The Patriots haven't looked like the same team with Cassel under center.

New York Jets (-3.5) @ Oakland Raiders
Spread: NYJ
Actual: NYJ

Detroit @ Houston (-9.5)
Spread: HOU
Actual: HOU

San Diego @ Buffalo (-1)
Spread: SD
Actual: SD

San Francisco @ New York Giants (-10.5)
Spread: SF
Actual: NYG

Denver @ New England (-3)
Spread: DEN
Actual: DEN

Last Week:
Spread: 2-3-1
Winner: 3-3

Overall:
Spread: 7-3-2
Winner 6-6

Lehigh (2-3, 0-1 Patriot) @ Harvard (3-1, 1-1 Ivy)
Should be a decent game.  Harvard’s offense came through big last week, though, and I suspect it’ll do the same this week.

Holy Cross (2-3, 1-0 Patriot) @ Dartmouth (0-4, 0-2 Ivy)
Dartmouth’s really bad and I’m not picking against teh Cross again after last week.  HC by a mile.

Brown (2-2, 1-0 Ivy) @ Princeton (2-2, 1-0 Ivy)
Princeton hasn’t looked so hot the past couple of weeks.  I’ll take Brown on the road.

Colgate (4-2, 1-0 Patriot) @ Cornell (3-1, 1-1 Ivy)
Cornell’s no doubt reeling after being thumped by the Crim.  They’ll get the win but the real question is whether they’ve already lost the League title.

Columbia (0-4, 0-1 Ivy) @ Pennsylvania (2-2, 1-0 Ivy)
Penn is mightier.

Yale (3-1, 1-1 Ivy) @ Fordham (2-3, 0-2 Patriot)
Fordham’s lost its past two games by a total of 28 points.  Yale won its past two games by a total of 30 points.  I’ll take Yale but don’t be surprised if last year’s Patriot league champ wakes up and starts playing good football again.

Last Week: 5-1
Overall: 10-8